


You know you like it but it drives you insane

by heavenisalibrary



Series: We're the kids your momma warned you about [2]
Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/M, High School AU, I feel like putting an underage warning is excessive because of the actual characters, but it's rated M and a high school AU, so you can do that math
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-25
Updated: 2014-03-25
Packaged: 2018-01-17 00:25:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,567
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1367182
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heavenisalibrary/pseuds/heavenisalibrary
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>River was a junior, and a popular one at that. She was invited to everything. Senior parties, college parties thrown by alumni from their high school, junior parties — she was even extended invitations by hopeful sophomores and freshmen, which she rarely took. He spent most Fridays after school trying not to scowl at her as they sat on the bleachers overlooking the football field, because she always needed to spend at least fifteen minutes filing through the seemingly endless texts sent to her with hopes of snagging her for various social events. He himself only ever got texts from River, or from his foster mother, wondering where he was.</p><p>River/Doctor High School AU — they go to a party. Prompt was "truth or dare."</p>
            </blockquote>





	You know you like it but it drives you insane

**Author's Note:**

> So a few things about this. 
> 
> 1) Prompt: River/Doctor, truth or dare.
> 
> 2) As noted in the tags, this is a High School AU, but there is sexual content. I don't think of it as underage because they're still River and the Doctor to my mind, but if it bothers you, I want you to be aware so you don't read it.
> 
> 3) Something of a continuation of/existing in the same universe as [this](https://archiveofourown.org/works/1299673).
> 
> 4) This is utterly ridiculous on all counts.

John didn’t usually attend parties, but not by choice — he didn’t really get invited. For one, he was a freshman due to a spotty educational record, despite being seventeen and a genius. He was also a bit strange, many said, and new to the school to boot. Luckily, a few months in he’d finally come into contact with River Song. He’d admired her from the first moment he saw her, of course, but it had taken her tricking him into following her behind the bleachers for anything to come of it. They’d been inseparable ever since.

Unfortunately for John — who liked people, but wasn’t necessarily good with them (alright, so adults found him charming, but teenagers thought he was bizarre) — River was a junior, and a popular one at that. She was invited to everything. Senior parties, college parties thrown by alumni from their high school, junior parties — she was even extended invitations by hopeful sophomores and freshmen, whichs he rarely took. He spent most Fridays after school trying not to scowl at her as they sat on the bleachers overlooking the football field, because she always needed to spend at least fifteen minutes filing through the seemingly endless texts sent to her with hopes of snagging her for various social events. He himself only ever got texts from River, or from his foster mother, wondering where he was.

She twirled a curl around a finger, smiling slightly at some texts and rolling her eyes at others, and he tapped his foot against the footstop, growing more and more impatient.

“Can’t we just do something else this weekend?” he said. They’d been dating — though he hated that word — for a couple of months now, and in that time they’d mostly spent their weekends together. River was more trouble than he realized, but he loved every second of it. They’d gone hiking and indoor rock-climbing and taken a short road trip to a nearby city at one AM for some tea and gone ice skating on a pond in the deep of the woods a half hour out of town and he’d happily go on exploring their world with her for the rest of his life, but she’d insisted that they make it to at least one party this weekend. He wasn’t taking it well.

“No, sweetie,” she said, in that tone of voice that sounded sympathetic but he knew wasn’t at all. “These things are important. It’s rude for me to turn down so many invitations.”

“I don’t get any invitations,” John said.

“I know,” River said, reaching out to pat his leg. “Bless.”

He huffed a sigh and flopped back onto the bleachers, crossing his arms over his chest in a pout. She left her hand resting on his thigh and he acted like he didn't care about the little touches she bestowed upon him, but even that small gesture cuts into his irritation instantly. What felt like hours later — but was actually only a few minutes — she put her phone into her pocket and turns to face him.

“You’ve been so well behaved,” she said.

“I’m not your dog, River,” he said, frowning at her as she leaned back on the bleachers too, shifting sideways to face him and resting her elbow on the step above them.

“I know,” she said. “And yet, I’m still going to train you with positive reinforcement.”

She leaned in to kiss him, one of her hands resting on his chest. He loved kissing River — it was his favorite past times, and that was saying something. Before River he hadn’t ever had any interest in girls or boys or sex or anything like that. She’d been his first kiss, and they’d gotten into some heavy petting, but not gone very far — he knew River wasn’t a virgin, because sometimes she’d talk about sex to him in the incredibly frank way she talked about everything, but she’d never pushed him. He didn’t quite think she realized that he didn’t need to be pushed, that he felt like every moment he wasn’t touching her was a moment wasted, but all in all it wasn't a step he was quite prepared to take and so he appreciated her restraint on the matter.

It wasn’t until he dropped her off at her house that he realized she had basically given him a kiss like a doggy biscuit, and he’d hollered out the window of the crap car his foster parents had given him (for which he was immensely grateful, even if it was crap), only for her to throw her head back and laugh uproariously at him as she waved goodbye and disappeared into her house.

 

He picked her up at nine, telling his foster parents he was going to study with a friend as he always did, and she slid into his car wearing a painted-on pair of jeans and a shirt he couldn’t see under her leather jacket, but he was sure she was dressed to impress — that was perhaps the only upside to the evening.

As he drove to the party, letting her give him directions and trying not to snap at her when she let out little noises of distress every time he did something she thought was stupid. She hated how he drove. When they pulled into the already packed driveway of the expansive house they were meant to go to, John turned off the ignition and leaned back, tugging a hand through his hair.

“There’s not going to be drinking here, is there?”

“Loads,” said River. “Prepare yourself.”

“Ri- _ver_ ,” he said, throwing his head back.

“Oh, buck up,” she said, “I promise I’ll make it worth your while.”

He tried to scowl, but she pressed a quick kiss to his cheek and hurried out of the car, and he couldn’t help the little twitch to the corner of his lips. He got out and locked the doors, tucking the keys into the pocket of his dark trousers and approached her with heavy steps. She grabbed his hands and started to tug him along, but he held fast.

“Please don’t make me,” he begged.

“You’ll have a good time!”

“I won’t,” he said. “I’ve already decided. And you know me, River, stubborn as a mule. Stubborn as you. Won’t be swayed, sorry to say.”

She rolled her eyes. “You will.”

“None of these people like me! They’re all — cool and I’m all —”

“Not?”

“ _No_ ,” he said, “that’s not what I was going to say.”

“Sweetie,” she said, swinging their hands between them in an attempt to buck him up, “they’ll like you because you’re associated with me. And even if they don’t, no one would ever say an ill word of my boyfriend — they’re too scared of me.”

“They adore you.”

“Haven’t you even read _The Prince_?”

He snorted, and she grinned, sensing his defeat — but her smug expression immediately made him dig his heels in, and he snatched his hands back, shoving them into his armpits and shaking his head stubbornly. She rolled her eyes again, and began to pull off her leather jacket with a sigh. Underneath she wore a form-fitting tank top that showed off her toned arms, a small strip of her midriff, and sported a low enough neckline that his eyes nearly bugged out of his head.

“Are you sure you won’t come, John? I got all dressed up and everything,” she said, batting her eyelashes, but her smile was a smirk, and he knew that she knew exactly what she was doing. 

He licked his lips and shook his head, resisting the urge to reach out and grab her. “No.”

“Fine,” she said, “I’ll just have to go by myself and get roaring drunk — I’m sure one of the boys from the football team will be happy to see me home. I know you haven’t seen me drunk yet, but I’m so friendly, I hope I remember I even have a boyfriend when —”

“River!”

“What?”

“You’re being ridiculous.”

“You’re being stubborn,” she said with a frown.

“Yes,” he said. “And you’re out of tactics.”

He knew the moment he said it that he’d lost; he learned very quickly that posing any sort of challenge to River was _asking_ to be put in his place. River sighed and turned away from him, walking to the door. He stayed put, watching her warily as she stopped and turned back around. She blew him a kiss, crossed her arms over her front, gripped her fingers at the base of her shirt, and lifted her top up over her face, flashing him her bare chest.

“ _RIVER_!” he shouted, hurrying up to her as she laughed and laughed, quickly pulling her shirt down as she grinned up at him and trying so hard not to focus on the image of her bare breasts that would no doubt be seared on his memory for the rest of his life. “You can’t do things like that.”

“I can do whatever I like,” she said. “But if you come with me I promise next time I take my shirt off, it’ll be in private. I might even let you help.” 

He opened his mouth to respond, but all he could think about was all that skin and how desperately he wanted to touch it. “That’s not fair,” he said finally, his hand coming to rest on her hip, his fingers brushing against the slip of bare skin.

“I know,” she said, leaning onto her tiptoes to kiss the side of his mouth.

He followed her into the party, holding tightly to her hand, and immediately regretted it. A few minutes after they arrived — River saying hi to positively everybody who either looked at her like they wanted to eat her for dessert or like they worshipped the ground she walked on or like she was the most terrifying thing they’d ever seen, or some combination of the three, John getting virtually ignored although River stroked the back of his hand with her thumb as though to console him — River turned to look at him thoughtfully. She pulled him into the kitchen where there were fewer people, and began to undo his bowtie.

“Just because you’ve got no sort of problem with nudity,” said John, “doesn’t mean I’m going to let you take my clothes off in front of all these people —”

“You could _be_ so lucky,” said River, and a nearby guy John thought he recognized from algebra snorted into his drink. John glared at him until he walked away. “I’m not undressing you, honey, I’m just giving you a more appropriate look. Yours is all well and good if you’re a grandfather —”

“Bowties are cool —”

“For a _grandfather_ ,” she repeated. “Not that I mind, you usually look almost professorial, it’s kind of hot in a kinky sort of way.” She bit her tongue between her teeth and John groaned at her, half with embarrassment, and half because he loved it when she did that thing with her tongue — it was halfway between cute and sexy, and it did things to him. “But this is a party, and you’ve got to look _your age_.”

She slipped the bowtie out and shoved it in the pocket of her leather jacket, which she tossed aside, and then started tugging at the bottom of his shirt. He started to protest but she glared at him, and he sighed, letting her do whatever she wanted. She pulled his shirt untucked and undid a few buttons at the top, and then rolled up his sleeves in a haphazard sort of way before stepping back to admire her handiwork. He looked down, his hair flopping over his face, and when she didn’t speak he looked back at her through his fringe. Her cheeks were a bit flushed, and he tugged at the hem of his button-up self-consciously.

“That bad?” he said.

“Not at all,” she said, stepping toward him and adjusting the collar a bit. “You look — you look quite good, really.”

“You always think I look good,” he said.

“No,” she said, “I’m always attracted to you. There’s a difference. I think you look like a great big idiot most of the time, but then, you don’t choose who you — well, you know.”

He smiled at her, reaching out to bop her on the nose with his index finger. “I do.”

They hadn’t so much as rounded second base, and they certainly hadn’t exchanged I love yous — mostly they fought and snogged a lot — but John was in love with River the moment he laid eyes on her and more and more he thought she perhaps felt the same. But as much as he’d been through in his seventeen years, he knew River had her own struggles. They talked a lot, but she tended to skirt around big things, those shadows he sometimes heard crawling around the dark places of her words she wouldn’t let him see, and he didn’t push. He knew that one day he’d know all of her — literally and metaphorically — and didn’t see the need to rush it. Just like he didn’t feel the need to press her on the I love you thing; he didn’t think, for whatever reason, that she was ready, and so he kept it tucked close to his heart until she made the first move.

She started to turn away from him, but he stopped her, leaning in to kiss her, and he was slightly surprised when she let him. She wrapped her arms around his neck, running her fingers through his hair, and he pressed his palms to the small of her back. She was stronger than she looked — she exercised a lot more than usual since they started dating, and she said it was because she was a lot more frustrated than usual with him in her life and _oh god_ he was only now realizing what she meant — but still small, and his hands together could map practically her whole back. He loved that. He loved touching her, loved the gentle touch of her fingers combined with the fiery way she kissed him, like she wanted to devour him. She whined slightly as he pulled away, and he grinned at her.

“Still cross you came?”

“Yes,” he said, still smiling. “I’m terribly upset, can’t you see?”

“Idiot,” she muttered, disentangling herself from his embrace and going over to the keg of beer in the corner.

“How’d they even get this?” asked John as she grabbed two red cups and began to fill them. “None of them are of age.”

“Someone’s sibling, probably,” River said. “It’s truly not hard, sweetie.” She poured them both full cups of beer, while he milled around the keg like it were some mysterious creature, poking and prodding and accidentally bending the tap in the process. She shooed him away, shoving a cup into his hand and leading him into the next room, where a bunch of kids from their school sat on the couch and on chairs, talking and laughing and reeking of beer.

John took one sip and nearly spat it out. River laughed at him over the rim of her cup.

 

 

Much of the night passed uneventfully. More people came, and it became quite crowded and warm. John couldn’t stand the taste of beer, but every so often River would circle back to him, fall into his lap, and coerce him into taking a few gulps — his willingness to agree had absolutely nothing to do with getting River to come by and settle into his lap every so often, of course — and so he was pleasantly buzzed, even if the aftertaste was less than palatable. He could tell River was a bit more than buzzed, but not because she held it gracelessly — he just knew her better than he knew himself, and he could see the flush to her cheeks, the bright flintiness of her eyes, the way she spoke with her hands more than usual, the way her whole body was relaxed. She relaxed around him, but he’d noticed that around others, especially in big groups or closed-off rooms, there was a tightness around her eyes and a tension in her frame, even when she seemed open and friendly — he thought it had something to do with the things she didn’t tell him about, but he’d never bring it up.

She refilled her glass twice as often as he did, and seemed to have no concept of personal space. He watched as she talked to a small group of classmates across the room, swirling the beer in his half-empty cup from his seat on the couch across from her. She caught his eye as she laughed, and even when she stopped laughing her lips curled up in a secret, warm smile meant just for him and some feeling trip-hopped up his spine and made him grin too. 

He didn’t really like the party. He didn’t want to talk to these people, he didn’t like the beer, he didn’t like the loud music or the crowd, but he knew that he’d come to every single one River asked him to, just so he could see more of her.

 

A few hours later, people had left, but a healthy crowd still maintained in the living room. River was settled onto an armchair with people kneeling and leaning and standing around her like subjects at the throne of their queen, and he just watched her, surprised to feel so content doing just that. He wasn’t good at being idle, but River calmed him, even from a distance. Of course, she came over to pay him some attention every now and then, to tease him with a kiss to the corner of his mouth or tell him something absurd someone had said to her, but he didn’t even mind the time she spent talking to others.

“Let’s play a drinking game!” shouted a girl from his chemistry class, loud and drunk, and John shared a look with River as she rolled her eyes.

A few other kids suggested games — kings, quarters, up and down the river (John winked at River, and she favored him with a giggle) — but someone had an objection to everything. Seven minutes in heaven came up, which John wasn’t familiar with, but the coy look River gave him told him it was something he’d enjoy. Yet someone else objected to that, saying it wasn’t that fun for everybody involved, and they listed various other things that John had never heard of, before finally settling on truth or dare.

“That’s a stupid game,” said one kid. “What are we, thirteen?”

“It’s a throw back!” said another. “Like spin the bottle.”

“Ooh, spin that bottle,” said River, and John didn’t miss the near-salivating looks shot in her direction as she spoke, “sounds like my sort of game.”

There was a pause.

“Truth or dare is alright too, I suppose,” River added, and John couldn’t believe the collective sigh of relief. River wasn’t the most vocal member of the group, of course, and she really had many groups she circulated in — she wasn’t the ringleader, but everyone seemed to value her opinion. Everybody wanted her approval. He glanced at her, and from the smirk on her face, she knew it — he didn’t know what turned him on more, the fact that she’d earned that sort of venerability in the first place, or the fact that she revelled in it. He shifted in his seat, his trousers feeling slightly too tight.

Everyone settled onto the ground or end tables, squeezing into every possible seat, and when River glanced at John, he raised his brows, patting his lap with one hand to beckon her over. She laughed.

“You’re cheeky, drunk,” she said, standing from her armchair. He suddenly felt as though all eyes were on him as she slinked over to him, swaying her hips in a way he couldn’t help but follow. Anyone River drew into her gyre suddenly became an object of fascination — he hadn’t talked to many people that night, but he knew it was because he’d been sitting somewhat sullenly in the corner, because people had been throwing glances at him all night. _Who’s this? River’s newest toy?_ He sort of hated how everyone seemed to regard him as River’s property, and he sort of loved it, too.

“M’not drunk,” he said, setting his drink down before reaching up to rest a hand on either of her hips as she leaned over him, resting her hands on his shoulders. This had the benefit of giving him a rather excellent view down her top, and he quickly reddened when he remembered she wasn’t wearing a bra — and then reddened further when he remembered how he knew that. John gulped, and River smiled predatorily. “I’ve only had a few drinks.”

“Which is probably more than you’ve ever had in your life,” she said, letting her back go slack slightly so that he could see even further down her shirt, and he could only imagine what she looked like from behind — ass in the air in those tight jeans, and if he’d thought his trousers felt tight before, he’d been severely underestimating the power River had over him. But then, he realized that everyone behind them was probably staring, since there wasn’t much talking, which meant they were staring at River’s ass, which was, at the moment, _his_ ass, even if he hadn’t seen it or really touched it, honestly, yet — and so he tightened his grip on her hips and pulled her toward him. She giggled as she fell into his lap — and River rarely giggled, but he loved the sound — wrapping his arms around her as she settled sideways onto him, giving a little wiggle that made him go a bit cross-eyed.

“You’re cruel,” John said, watching River grin as she took another sip of her beer. Her breath smelled heavy and yeasty and just a bit like citrus, and he wanted to kiss away the moisture that lingered on her lips, but he felt self-conscious in the crowded room.

“You’re _easy_ ,” she said. 

She kissed his cheek as people started arguing about who would start, and then finally the game got going. There was a lot of snogging, a lot of doing inappropriate things with inanimate objects, a lot of chugging gratuitous amounts of beer or else sipping disgusting concoctions people mixed up in the kitchen. At some point, a bottle of tequila appeared, and for a while all anyone seemed to want to dare one another to do was lick salt off of each other or do body shots — and John had the exceptionally gratifying and frustrating experience of watching his girlfriend make eye contact with him as she licked a measure of salt off of another girl’s clavicle before doing her shot, making a pleased little noise as she licked the extra salt off of her lips and god, it wasn’t like he really kew anything about anything remotely sexual that wasn’t kissing — though he had gotten good and fond of that — but he could instantly come up with dozens of things he’d rather be doing to and with River than sitting in this crowded room. He realized that dealing with River in public posed many challenges beyond his general distaste for most of the people at their high school — not the least of which was her love for making him blush.

People were dared to go streaking outside, and three people were forced under the apparently inescapable laws of truth to admit their crushes (two of them shortly disappeared on a bathroom break, which even John realized wasn’t a bathroom break at all). Everyone, even John, since River’s attention was now devoted to him, as she was still sitting on his lap, got drunker and drunker and the dares became stranger and dirtier. John was pleased to mostly stay out of the fray, perhaps protected by having everyone’s favorite sitting on top of him and relegating him to the background, perhaps because he was trying to look grumpy about the whole thing, even though he found it more and more entertaining as he drank. He did, however, have to take off his underwear in another room and give it to one of the girls (which made River sitting his lap all the more uncomfortable, because there was even less between her constantly, infuriatingly moving ass and the part of him that was most interested in it), and at some point he was made to tell everyone his dating history, which was simple, because it was a short list that consisted of River. 

River settled more deeply into his lap as the game went on, biting her lip as she watched the game in silence for a moment before she shifted so that her lips were near his ear and asked, “truth or dare?”

He raised a brow at her. “It’s not your turn.”

“This is our game, they’re playing a different one,” she said, “truth or dare?”

“Truth,” he said, smiling at her. He felt like his cheeks hurt from smiling at her so much, but he couldn’t stop doing it. Everything made him smile, everything made him want to laugh — he felt like there was constantly joy bubbling in his chest, which he knew was the beer, but then, it also could’ve been River.

“Have you really never dated anyone else?”

“Just you,” said John.

“It explains the hands,” said River.

“My hands are just fine, thank you —”

“Oh, now they are, honey,” River said with a breathy laugh, “but it took me weeks to get you to use them properly.”

John _hmphed_.

“Your turn,” she said, prodding him in the chest. He thought about resisting for a moment, but he always liked playing with her best anyway.

“Truth or dare?”

“Truth,” she said. Her eyes were a bit wide, and he could tell her focus was a bit fuzzy, but he knew that this was an act of great trust for her — she never picked truth when they played, and he knew her devil-may-care attitude was genuine, he knew that she really was a bit of an adrenaline junkie, but he’d also learned how deeply guarded she was. How she never said anything she didn’t mean to. He nodded.

“Why did you dump all of the others?”

She shrugged slightly. “Got bored. I cared for all of them, in different ways, for different things. Sometimes it was for their looks, sometimes it was for the way they laughed at things I said, sometimes it was for how clever they were at maths or something silly like that. I always had reasons. But it was always — always pieces I cared for, you know? Things about them I focused on to pass the time, but after a few weeks, that’s all there was. Just that piece of them I liked, and the rest I could do without. So I gave them what I could and took what I needed and moved on before I did any real damage.”

“So considerate of you,” he said.

She snorted.

“Can I ask a follow-up?”

River raised a brow.

“Why haven’t you dumped _me_?”

“I like all of the pieces,” she said, and he could tell by the thinness of her voice that something like that wasn’t easy for her to say. She seemed so bright and open and present all of the time, but he knew she came and went; he knew she hid behind her quips and charming laughs and salacious smirks. He loved it best when she let him in, piece by piece.

“Me too,” he said, “I mean, that’s — I like all of your pieces.”

“I’d say you do,” said River, shifting pointedly on his lap, and he bit down on his lower lip to keep from making a sound, gripping her hips to hold her still.

“ _River_ ,” he said, whining pitifully, but she merely laughed and looked away toward the game again. A few more rounds passed, at least three people dispersed to pass out on various pieces of furniture in other rooms, and another was locked in the bathroom, throwing up everything they’d eaten for months, possibly, given how long they’d been gone. River turned to him again as a girl was dared to give her biology partner a lapdance.

“Truth or dare?”

“Truth,” he said.

“You’ve not dated anyone else — does that mean — you’ve never fucked anyone before, have you?”

“ _River_!” he said, too loudly. A few people turned to look and she rolled her eyes at him.

“Calm down,” she said, “and answer the question.”

“I — well, no, not as such,” he said, “not that _I’d_ use that word. Truth or dare?”

“Truth,” she said. She looked like she were mulling over his words.

“Does it bother you, that I haven’t…?”

“Not particularly,” River said. “I’m not one to judge, honey.”

John nodded. He didn’t detect any dishonesty in what she said, and so he let the topic drop as they went back to the larger game. River was dared to snog some boy to their right, but made some excuse that was amusing enough to divert their attention from her cop-out — and also to avoid noting the cranky look on John’s face, and the way he pulled River closer. She had to trace the boy’s abdominal muscles with her tongue instead, which didn’t bother John quite as much, and when she felt his grip on her loosen she agreed — although John immediately wished he hadn’t somewhat accidentally let her do that, because he had to watch, and it was equal parts a source of jealousy and arousal. (The boy excused himself from the room shortly thereafter, walking stiffly, and John grumbled something in River’s ear about how she could never do something halfway. She kissed his cheek.)

The game went around again, and River leaned back into John. “Truth or dare?”

He mulled. Then, “dare.”

“ _Really?_ ”

“I suppose,” he said, trying — and failing — not to grin back as she smiled at him.

“I dare you to tell me what you’d do to me,” she said, arching her back and pressing her hips into him. She shifted so that her back was to his chest and leaned back, so that his mouth was by her ear. “I dare you to tell me what you’d do to me if no one else were in this room.”

It took John a few minutes to form a thought, because she shimmied her waist until he opened his legs, letting her fall between them so that he was surrounding her, and she rested a hand on his upper thigh, stroking it subtly with her fingers and causing all sorts of things to malfunction in his brain.

“I’d — I’d kiss you,” he said, quietly.

River snorted. “That’s all?”

“Yes — no — well, to _start_. I’d kiss your neck, lots of teeth like you like it, just to get you to make that little hitching whine you do when I get it right. I’d do that a lot. Hours, probably.”

She hummed, her eyes shifting to the rest of the party. He could tell by the way she crossed her legs, however, that she appreciated his efforts, and he knew because she didn’t interject that he wasn’t meant to stop there.

“I really could do that for hours, you know,” he said into her ear, careful that no one else could hear. “Until your skin was a bit red and blotchy, lots of little marks that I could stare at during class and know I put there. I — I….” he hesitated, feeling his confidence flagging, but she whined slightly, and that noise combined with the alcohol lent him boldness. “I love that, River. That — that turns me on, did you notice? In class, anytime I notice a little mark above the collar of your shirt, I have to find something to do with my hands to keep from grabbing you. I’d love to do that all over your skin.”

She shivered in his arms, and he smiled, a bit chuffed. He wrapped his arms around her waist, pressing his palms against her stomach so that he could draw small circles on the slip of skin she exposed when she leaned further back into him.

“Any time, honey,” she said, “any time you like.”

He pressed his lips tightly together, barely resisting the urge to bite down on her neck as her head lolled back onto his shoulder slightly. He watched her closely as she swallowed.

“Is that all?”

“Yes — no — I mean — _River_ , I’m not… I’m not _good_ at this,” he said.

“You’ve not done it before,” she said, “it takes practice.”

“Well, practice in _private_ would be better.”

“Spoilsport,” she said.

He pinched her side and she laughed. Then she pressed her feet into the ground and pushed herself back so that there was a constant, insistent pressure against him, and he turned his face to bury it in her hair for a moment, because he didn’t think he could control his expression anymore. 

“Aren’t you going to ask me?”

“Truth or dare?’

“Dare,” she said.

He debated for a moment. He knew she wanted him to turn it around on her, but he wasn’t sure he could take it, especially not when she was pressing up against his all-too-tight trousers, especially not in front of all of those people. Still, he found himself saying, and not entirely of his own volition, “I dare you to — to tell me what you’d do to me. Right now. If we were alone.”

She hummed, arching her back again, and when he looked down he realized he had yet another incredible view down her shirt and his mouth went dry. Her voice was low and soft and warm and slightly slurred, and although she was quiet, he prayed desperately that no one could overhear.

“I’d turn around and straddle you,” she said, “I’d kiss you and dry hump you within an inch of your life — I’d dig my nails into you, bite my teeth into that pouty lower lip of yours. I’d do that until you were begging me for more, and then I’d do it just a bit longer. I’d kiss my way down your throat, slide my hands under your shirt, scrape your skin up ‘til it hurt _just_ right, and then reach another hand down to grab you through your trousers and work you over until you begged some more, begged for me to slip my hand inside of your trousers and touch you, skin to skin, bone to bone, but I wouldn’t. I’d just keep on until I knew you’d do anything to get my hands on you, and then just a _bit_ more — oh, honey, I’d have you red-faced and begging and ready to come in your pants in less than ten minutes.”

John gulped. She ran a hand up and down his thigh. He let his hand travel from her navel to her ribcage and back again, his fingers flexing against her, trying not to do anything regrettable or embarrassing — he wanted to get up, to get her somewhere alone, but he knew she enjoyed torturing him and he didn’t think he’d be able to walk if he wanted to.

“I’ve been so patient with you, sweetie, and I will yet,” she said, “I’ll wait forever if that’s what you need, and it doesn’t bother me at all — all the pieces, remember? But I’m not going to pretend I don’t want you, and I’m not going to pretend I don’t know you want me. I’ll never pressure you into anything, but I fantasize about it all the time — once, I forged a note to get myself out of school early. That day we had that huge debate in Ethics, remember? Mm, you’re so hot when you’re clever. I left school and I broke into your car —”

“You _what_?” He said, too loud, and a couple of people looked at them. When their attention diverted, River continued.

“Hush, John,” she said, leaning her head back to place a kiss on his cheek. “You’ll thank me in a moment. I broke into your car and I thought about what it’ll be like when you’re ready, when you’re comfortable with all of this, when we can have a debate like that and instead of going out to get a bite to eat after class or just talking — which is lovely, don’t get me wrong — but instead of doing that, I imagined what it would be like if you pushed me up against a wall instead and had your way with me. I sat in the driver’s seat and fucked myself with my fingers until I came, shouting your name.”

John closed his eyes and tried to think of almost anything else, because all of the dirty things she said combined with her weight against his now throbbing erection combined with the months of snogging-and-not-much-else they’d been doing made him feel dangerously close to the edge, just from listening to her speak. His thoughts were scattered and hard to hold on to, and when she moved her weight again his hips jerked, and she clenched her hand on his thigh in warning.

It wasn’t even just the fact that River could turn him on like a light-switch no matter what, and now she was _aggressively_ trying, but the fact that she said she’d wait. He’d realized that it was difficult for her to abstain, and he knew that sometimes she was less than pleased when he pulled away from her at the end of the night without so much as copping a feel. But he found it immensely meaningful and compassionate of her to not want to push him into something he wasn’t familiar with, something he wasn’t ready for — and even more wonderful, to him, was the fact that she didn’t take his slow journey past first base personally. She knew he wanted her, but she also knew that he needed to be in control of things, knew that pushing him somewhere he wasn’t comfortable was the quickest way to make him silly and glib and defensive, and he was able to bring himself back down by tempering his lust with the overwhelming affection he had for the girl in his arms.

“Do you need another drink?” he asked.

“Not particularly,” she said, “unless you’re trying to get me along.”

“I’m trying to get you alone,” he said, pointedly, and she smiled. “And you need to come with me — as in, _walk_ with me — as in, directly in front of me so this doesn’t become immensely embarrassing for everyone.”

She laughed at him, patted his cheek, and then grabbed his cup, moving extra slowly to accommodate him as he followed closely behind her, his hands on her hips. When they got into the kitchen, and the door closed behind them, he spun her around and kissed her and kissed her and kissed her until she was scrabbling against his shirt for the buttons, and he gave her permission when he slid his own hands under her shirt, whimpering a bit at the feel of all that soft, warm skin. His hands shook slightly — damnable nerves — as he moved them up to press against her bare breasts beneath the fabric, and her answering moan was absolutely obscene as he squeezed her nipples between his fingers, rolled his hands over them. She dug her nails into his shoulders as he backed her into the counter, crying out softly when he fastened his lips to his neck, still playing with her breasts, and sucking hard on her skin.

“We don’t have to — _guh_ — honey, I wasn’t,” she stopped when his hands slid downward, grappling with the button of those torturously tight jeans, before continuing, “I didn’t want to —”

“Shh,” he said, finally undoing her jeans and carefully peeling them down her hips to reveal the black lace thong she wore. Kneeling, he placed a kiss right below her belly button. “ _I_ want to. You have been wonderful and understanding — if not cruel, at times — and I’m not… I’m not ready for everything, not yet, but if you give me some pointers I think we can reach a…” he paused, hooking his fingers in her panties and peeling them down as well, looking up at her through the hair that flopped over his face. “...satisfactory compromise, hm?”

He kissed her navel again, and then lower, smoothing his hands over the newly bared skin of her hips, the tops of her thighs. He wanted to take more time to see all of her, but now wasn’t the time — they were, after all, in somebody else’s kitchen. When he pressed a kiss between her legs, her whole body shuddered.

“Running before you can walk, are you?” she said, and he dipped his head further between her legs, running a tongue along her folds and gripping her hips tightly as they jerked helplessly toward him.

“I’m a quick learner,” he said. He’d never done any of this before, but he’d read a lot, he knew anatomy, he was very smart, and most importantly he was well-attuned to River, and most helpfully, she was incredibly responsive. She spread her legs further as he explored her with his tongue until he found that little spot that made her gasp, and then he sealed his lips around her clit and sucked hard — her hands flew to his hair and she tangled her fingers in it. He was acutely aware of his erection straining against his trousers, but he was too focused on River to think to do anything about it. He sucked and ran the flat of his tongue over her clit, before dipping his head lower and pressing his tongue inside of her; she was so warm and wet as he licked at her, and when his nose brushed against her clit her hands clenched more tightly in his hair, so he did it again on purpose, burying his face between her legs and licking her faster and deeper until she was trembling above him.

“ _Sweetie,_ ” she whinted, “just a bit more — more of you, inside, I need —” she broke off in a heady little moan, and he withdrew his face a bit to run his tongue around her clit teasing, reaching up to press a finger into her warmth. He looked up at her as she threw her head back, nodding slightly and swallowing. He pressed another finger in the next time, and then sucked on her clit, which made her shake all over, so he did it again and again until she was trembling helplessly above him, gasping for air.

“Curl your fingers,” she said, “back towa — toward you.”

He followed her directions, driving his fingers in and out at an arc, and he quickly found the spot she’d been directing him toward, the place inside of her that made her hands clench painfully in his hair, and he kept doing it over and over again, feeling his own breath stall in his lungs and sucking and licking her clit with his tongue. She reached a hand around herself to fondle her own breast, slipping it inside of her shirt, and he groaned against her slick skin, pressing into her with his fingers harder and deeper until something in her seemed to snap and she came — head thrown back, mouth open, eyes closed, body shaking with the effort of keeping her cry of pleasure inside. He pulled his fingers out, but continued to lick her gently until she pulled him up by the hair.

“You are… a quick learner,” she agreed, and he kissed her, loving how she groaned at the taste of herself on his tongue. “Now, let’s see, hm? What can I learn from you?”

She reached down to undo his trousers, but he grabbed her wrist, bringing it up to his lips and kissing the inside of it. His expression turned sheepish.

“I’m afraid that I, uh —”

She looked down, then back up at him, then back down, and then she laughed. “Oh, _really_? Just from that?”

“ _River_ ,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck as he stepped back to let her pull her jeans back up. “To be honest I could’ve — out there, when you were… _talking_ — you’re not easy to _deal with_ , you know?”

“I’ll take it as a compliment,” she said, kissing him again. “But next time, I get a turn.”

“Looking forward to it,” he said.

“Yeah, you are,” she said.

“I love you,” he said, and then upon realizing that it was something meant to stay on his head, immediately followed with, “I didn’t mean that — I mean, I _did_ mean it, but I didn’t mean to _say_ it, so you don’t have to… and… well.”

She smiled a little at him, kissing the corner of his mouth. “Thank you. I’m — it means a lot. And I’ll say it just… just not yet. Physical intimacy I can do — that I need. The other stuff, I’m not so sure of. That’s something I’m not ready for, you know?”

“That’s fine,” he said, kissing her nose. “I can wait until you’re ready.”

“Back at you, sweetie,” she said. “One day we’ll meet in the middle.”


End file.
